The Crossroads of Suffering Like Christ
Coming to a crossroads in life is like standing at the intersection of familiarity and the unknown. It's a pivotal moment where decisions carry the weight of shaping our future.
Our beliefs and perceptions can also come to a crossroads, leading us into a deeper understanding of who God is. My personal journey has been marked by a profound crossroad and shift in my assumptions of God.
Once, my perception of God was rooted in rigid doctrines. I saw God as an all-powerful judge, ready to cast down judgment upon any misstep. I saw trials, pain, and death as direct punishment from Him. My relationship with God was far from personal.
Yet, God has an extraordinary way of challenging our beliefs and inviting us to a deeper, more intimate, relationship with Him. My crossroads began when my second son, Noah, was unexpectedly stillborn. Moments of doubt, anger, and questions shook the very foundation of my belief in the One who, I knew, fearfully and wonderfully, created my child.
I quickly recognized the need to venture beyond biblical theology and seek a more personal relationship with the One who created me.
I started by embracing the ideology that God is sovereign. This shift in perspective allowed me to see God not as a distant judge, but as a caring Father that embraced me even in my moments of pain and fear.
I began to see God not just as El Roi, “the God who sees”, but also as Jehovah ‘Ezri, “the Lord my helper” and Jehovah Machsi, “the Lord my refuge”.
God’s names alone remind us of His omniscience and compassionate care. God longs to be our first call for help and all we have to do is speak His name. God longs to be our safe haven in times of distress.
I realized through a daily relationship with God that He is not confined to specific places. The veil was torn so that His Holy Spirit could now live inside of me as a wellspring of guidance, discernment, and grace.
I recognized that trials, pain, and death aren’t punishment from the Lord. Christians are promised long-suffering. Romans 8:17 says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” There is nothing that can happen on the earth without the Lord approving or allowing it.
So what does this mean?
God ordains specific sufferings for each of us through-out our lives to draw us into a deeper, closer relationship with Him–ultimately, bringing him glory.
The crossroads is the choice that we make. He is either God of all or not God at all. We cannot choose to only proclaim his goodness on the mountaintops.
In my circumstances, losing my child, I did still believe God was good.
Standing at the crossroads, I knew God was with me. Months later, I went on to create a ministry to bring the hope of Christ to grieving families like mine.
With a multitude of crossroads along the way, God gives us an abundance of opportunities to use our current sufferings to draw close to Him.
At your next crossroads, may you continue to choose unwavering faith as a true testament to those around you of, El Roi, the God that you serve.
Moria Rooney is the cofounder of Mother of Wilde, where she spreads the hope of Christ to grieving families. Moria has been married to her husband, Brian, for nine years and together they have two children on earth and one in heaven. Currently residing in North Carolina, she spends her days homeschooling, discipling her babies, and running Mother of Wilde's ministry from home.