Stillbirth and Fatherhood: Navigating Grief and Finding Strength
As a father, experiencing stillbirth of your son or daughter is one of the most devastating and heart-wrenching things that a dad can go through.
It is a loss that leaves a permanent mark on your life, and is something that you never truly heal from.
The moment that you learn that your child has died is a moment that you will never forget. It's a moment filled with shock, disbelief, and grief.
You may feel numb or you may feel overwhelmed with emotion. You may feel angry or you may feel guilty. You may want to share with everyone about your child or you may want to share with no-one. Whatever you feel, it is completely normal and understandable.
As you go through the grieving process, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many other fathers have experienced stillbirth and there are support groups and resources available to help you navigate this difficult time.
Foreknown Ministries offers immediate text support for fathers that have lost a child. Remember: It is okay to be vulnerable and reach out for help. It's okay to take the steps and time that you need to heal.
One of the most challenging aspects of stillbirth for fathers is the sense of helplessness that often comes with it.
You may feel like there is nothing that you can do to make things better or like you have failed in some way.
It is important to remember that stillbirth is not your fault and that you did everything that you could to bring your precious child into the world safely.
As you grieve, it can be helpful to find ways to remember and honor your child.
You may choose to create a memorial or you may find comfort in writing about your feelings in a journal or sharing memories of your child with others.
It is also important to take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions as they come.
Drawing close to God during this time can offer a feeling of peace that you will not get from anything or anyone else.
Ultimately, the journey through stillbirth is a deeply personal one, and it will look different for everyone.
It is a process that requires time, patience, faith, and self-care. Remember that it is okay to take things one day at a time, even one hour at a time. It's okay to seek out support when you need it.
You are not alone in this journey. God is ready to walk you through this season of grief and He will equip you with people who are ready to help you through it.
If you or someone you know has experienced pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant loss, I encourage you to explore our website's blogs for support, understanding, and hope.
Mother of Wilde's blog offers a safe and compassionate space to share your child's story, find comfort, and connect with others who have experienced similar loss.
If your a dad in need additional support, resources, or prayer, you can reach out to me directly on the contact page.
This article was written by Mother of Wilde's co-founder, Brian Rooney. Brian is a Christ-follower, husband, and dad. He is lives just outside of Wilmington, North Carolina, and has been married to his wife, Moria, for 8 years. Together they have three children, Roman (3), Eden (2 weeks), and, Noah, who was stillborn.