Even Christ-followers go through cuttings
Have you noticed: Whenever there's a battle in our life, we always need someone to blame?
Maybe you are finding that you have placed the blame on yourself after your child's death. Your body didn't perform the way it should. It let you down - and how could it? Yeah, you could have eaten better and rested more, but you did most of the things right - right? Maybe you have pointed fingers and placed the blame on your doctor. Why didn't they listen to me? Why didn't they do things differently? Why didn't they do more ultrasounds?
Maybe you have placed the blame on God. Why did you take my child away? Why did we get pregnant after so many years of infertility only to have it end tragically? Why did God not listen to my prayers for healing?
Remember: even fruitful people go through cuttings. Christ-followers go through cuttings. We do not need to intellectualize Divine providence. We do not need to intellectualize God's will.
Your view of Jesus after child loss shakes most people’s faith to the very core. Not even for parents who lost a child but everyone's faith around them - even unbelievers.
The real foundation of your faith is truly revealed in the dark seasons of your life. The maturity of your faith is revealed in the seasons of intense pruning. Sometimes that pruning is sudden and comes with no warnings.
"Every branch in me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit." John 15:2
You must believe that what you're going through is developing you and you have to keep the faith. My aunt told me that after Noah went to be with Jesus and it's always stuck with me.
People will see your faith after this and how the Lord has strengthened it. People will see your marriage after this and how the Lord has strengthened it. You are being refined, to come out an even more pure version of you than who you were going into this. Trust that people will sometimes be confused by it. "How can we accept God to be good when He didn't perform the miracle?"
After the loss of your child, you can never go back to "normal". In fact, "normal" was really only "familiar".
Faith is the gateway in which all of the blessings flow from Heaven. Faith gives you access to the blessings of God. Faith is the ability to see God working, even if His hand seems invisible. Faith is knowing that the pain you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming.
Walking intimately with God through child loss changes you.
Heaven is much more real. The Holy Spirit is much more tangible. I remember after Noah left earth, I could distinctly feel God with me when I would call on His name. When I would pray, when I would worship, when I would have quiet time and say nothing at all, I could feel Him. I could feel His presence as unmistakably as I can feel the rain on my skin.
I know it may not feel like it but God is working something big in you right now. The deep stuff is the dark stuff. The growth that is coming can only happen in the dark and uncomfortable. It can only happen in the surrender. Complete surrender.
Give God the glory and make something beautiful out of this season of pruning. Choose to believe by faith that your child's impact will surpass far beyond their physical time on earth. Choose to believe by faith that God will be glorified through your child's life and your testimony.
Today choose to bring your worries and blame before our all-knowing Father, the only One capable of healing your grieving heart.