Updated: Jan 15
You may feel like nothing is good enough to say to newly bereaved parents after the loss of their child. As a bereaved mother, I think that is partially true. The death of a child feels foreign and unnatural.
When our son Noah was born still at 35 weeks we had many sympathies extended to us in person, over the phone, text, and through social media. Comforting words coming from friends, family and even, strangers. While most of it came with the purest of intentions, some of it sparked lingering resentment.
Here are 9 comforting things to say to a grieving parent:
There are no right words, just know I care.
I am praying that you feel tangibly covered in prayer during this time.
What a gift he/she was in my life.
I am grieving with you.
I've set up a meal train for your family so it helps make things a little easier.
My favorite memory of your son/daughter was when...
No parent should have to go through this. I'm here to support you in any way that I can.
I'd like to keep checking in on you unless you'd like a little space right now.
I'd like to have drop off some groceries and gift cards for food on your door step. When is a good time for you?
These are 9 things to say to a newly bereaved parent that say and show you care.
Another thing that was really impactful for us was when people would bring a few new toys over for our 13 month old Roman. Looking back on it, bringing a new engaging toy or two was so helpful for him while we were working through our grief. After Noah passed, we were in shock, emotionally depleted and a bit withdrawn. Even though Roman was too young to understand, the new toys were extremely thoughtful so we didn't feel as guilty for not being as attentive as we wanted to be.
The fact that you have landed here on this page shows you are headed in the right direction because you want to be intentional and considerate with your words and actions. I hope these things have given you a little insight and encouragement to help love and comfort the bereaved parent in your life.
Click here to read more of our blogs for child loss, miscarriage and stillbirth. All of our blogs are written by Mother of Wilde's Founder, Moria Rooney. Moria is based in Hampstead, North Carolina and has been married to her husband, Brian, for 7 years. Together they have two boys, Roman, who is almost 2, and Noah, who was born into heaven.